STARGAZING 

With: ALFONSE

ROCK ‘N’ ROLL

HOROSCOPES 

by  Alfonse  “the region’s rock ‘n’ roll guru”

AQUARIUS

(Jan. 20 ~ Feb. 18)

SPRING is here!  You need to shake off the winter blahs and get working on all those important things you have been putting off.  You need to stop being a slug.

PISCES

(Feb. 19 ~ March 20)

Along with pollen, love is in the air.  But not for you Pisces. You will have to wait for the heat of summer before your loins get busy.

ARIES

(March 21 ~ April 19)

Fighting is your nature Aries, but you should try to keep your temper cooled off for a while.  It’s going to get you in deep doo-doo soon if you don’t. Take a chill pill and blow things off.

TAURUS

(April 20 ~ May 20)

Your birthday will get you something besides another year older Taurus.  You are going to get lucky in love and get some booty baby.  Carry protection, cause you will not see it coming (no pun intended).        

GEMINI

(May 21 ~ June 20)

Work, work, work...your job will make some heavy demand on you this cycle bub. So forget any social life.

CANCER

(June 21 ~ July 22)

You STILL have no social life...so look for something to do with your time before your hand falls off and you go blind.

LEO

(July 23 ~ Aug 22)

They say there is “no such thing as a free lunch”...but Leo will get a full buffet soon.  Your luck is on the upswing.

VIRGO

(Aug 23 ~ Sept 22)

Material things matter to you and lucky you, will get some fancy new things sooner than later.  Just share the wealth.

LIBRA

(Sept 23 ~ Oct 22)

Lottery tickets would be advised for Libras during the last week of April.  Scratch and sniff the good life...the smell of Benjamins could become your fave aroma.         

SCORPIO

(Oct 23 ~ Nov 21)

“Water sports” are in your future, but you won’t be near a pool, lake of the ocean.     

SAGITTARIUS

(Nov 22 ~ Dec 21)

“Welcome to the Grand Illusion...” sang Dennis DeYoung of Styx.  Heed the song’s lyrics as that big change in your life is a lot of smoke and mirrors. 

CAPRICORN

(Dec 22 ~ Jan 19)

Beware of treachery in your life from someone close to you.  Jealousy will cause you trouble...tread cautiously.your life.

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