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ON THE FRONT LINES with Freak |
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ON THE FRONT LINES
with…FREAK ANTHRAX REUNIONHOUSE OF BLUES Chicago, Illinois – 4/30/05
“I’ve got no thumbs man look, I’ve got no thumbs!” The homeless drunk was screaming as he ran up to us waving his arms around wildly. I’d seen him before and already knew his story, his mom had taken some drugs during her pregnancy before doctors realized it caused birth defects leaving him with hands that didn’t have a hint of thumbs.
“Good show my man,” I cheered handing him a fiver. “Have a good night sir,” he screamed running down the ramp towards Dearborn in search of his next mark. As a rule, I don’t give money to the endless parade of homeless I pass each day unless they have a good presentation and the thumbless, crazy dude falls into that category.
“What the hell was that?” asked my buddy Phil with a mixed look of fear and concern pasted across his face. “A complete lunatic”, I replied. “About a year ago he gnawed off his own thumbs in a crack induced rage and was running around the parking lot stealing fries from small children at the Rock & Roll McDonald’s with blood shooting from the open wounds. The cops had to taser him three times and lob a dose of mace on him to bring him under control. It was incredible.”
Being from Barrington, Phil wasn’t even remotely used to this type of behavior and while he didn’t come right out and say it, I knew he was ready to go home. “Good God”, he muttered shaking his head in disbelief. “Those children must have been scared to death.”
The story wasn’t remotely true, but every now and then people like Phil need to have their reality shaken up a bit and I thoroughly enjoy doing it.
I flashed him the All Access sticker I was given, but it didn’t help. “No laminate, no entry”, he said. “There’s a billionaire in the house and we don’t want him being bothered.”
A billionaire is wandering around at an Anthrax show? Now I was really riled up, because not only could I not see my friends backstage but there was someone here I didn’t know about and I hate not knowing about stuff.
We went back to the bar in the Foundations Room and continued drinking and, more importantly, asking questions but nobody seemed to know what the hell I was talking about.
He made a very low key entrance and had I not worked for his stupid band Dogstar once before, I probably wouldn’t have recognized Keanu Reeves walking up to the bar. “All this fuss over that knucklehead”, I said to no one in particular. “Let’s grab a beer and head down into the madness,” I said, getting up from my stool but Phil was transfixed.
It was his first brush with a real movie star and he was on the verge of soiling himself, so I biffed him in the head to bring him around but he just turned and threw up on himself.
Nothing clears a room quicker than the smell of freshly tossed stomach acids and the whiskey-laced stench wafting from the heap of bile he deposited on the floor caused a human stampede for the exit.
I grabbed him by the collar of his jacket and hauled him into the mens room but the attendant wanted no part of it. He begged us to leave but I ignored his pleas as I pulled the jacket off my drunken companion and told him to toss his shirt and start washing up.
Within minutes he was presentable again, so I dropped a fiver in the old mans tip basket for the trouble and we headed for the main room to watch the show.
A video screen was showing a montage of video clips from the band’s past as we got to the back bar and wedged ourselves into a corner. The band hit the stage as I fetched our first round of beers, but when I turned to hand one to Phil I found him sitting on the floor passed out.
A situation that would be dealt with after the show was over.
Meanwhile, I sat and thoroughly enjoyed the lads making noize on stage. |
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A
sold-out show at the House of Blues means you can expect some fifteen
hundred sweaty folks crammed into a small, loud space and that’s exactly
what we got. Being one of the few bands I’ve known for twenty years, I
was actually excited to see them, so we headed up the Foundations Room
elevator to cut back to the dressing rooms, but we ran into security who
stopped us dead in our tracks.