STARGAZING 

With: ALFONSE

ROCK ‘N’ ROLL

HOROSCOPES

by  Alfonse  “the region’s rock ‘n’ roll guru”

AQUARIUS

(Jan. 20 ~ Feb. 18)

Regrets from the past return to haunt many born under the Water Bearer sign.  Try to make right those things you can.

PISCES

(Feb. 19 ~ March 20)

Though you find yourself getting embroiled in legal issues, in the end things will work out alright. Take matters seriously and do all you can to clear things up.

ARIES

(March 21 ~ April 19)

Aries will find themselves puffing out their chest and squaring off with someone close to them before the first day of Summer comes.  Could be an ex or a co-worker.  Watch your self Aries.

TAURUS 

(April 20 ~ May 20)

You will get laid by someone new.  Good for you Taurus...go out and get some “strange”!  The stars indicate your new lover will be of the female gender, whether you are a Taurus boy or a Taurus lady.         

GEMINI

(May 21 ~ June 20)

Your birthday is coming soon. You will get a gift out of the blue within a month of your actual birth date, that is totally unexpected.  Could be a check.  Could be a sexual favor.  Whatever it is...ENJOY!

CANCER

(June 21 ~ July 22)

Summer sunshine is coming, but you will have black clouds over your head for much of May.  You have the life of Eeyore.

LEO

(July 23 ~ Aug 22)

A night out dancing?  A new band to jam with?  Not sure what the stars are predicting, but something good connected with music comes your way in May or June.

VIRGO

(Aug 23 ~ Sept 22)

Play the lottery Virgo.  Good Luck is in the house for the next several weeks. This is a good time take chances. 

LIBRA 

(Sept 23 ~ Oct 22)

“Mister Goodbar” syndrome is waiting to strike at promiscuous Libras.  That person you pick up, bring home and bang after a night of club-hopping, might be a serial killer...making masturbation a safer option.    

SCORPIO

(Oct 23 ~ Nov 21)

 If you are planning a summer vacation, lock it in soon, because someone at your work will try to sabotage your plans and steal your vacation dates.      

SAGITTARIUS

(Nov 22 ~ Dec 21)

Hopefully, you did not fall for the scam I warned you of last month.  This month is fairly smooth sailing and calm for Sagittarians... 

CAPRICORN

(Dec 22 ~ Jan 19)

Rock me Amadeus!  Someone who was connected to you or your family during the 1980s will return to rock your world.  An old flame perhaps?   Tread cautiously.

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