ON THE FRONT LINES

ON THE FRONT LINES with…FREAK

by FREAK – 94.7/The Zone

EXTREME NIGHT OUT

TWEETER CENTER

Tinley Park, Illinois

Date 8/12 &13/05

Waking up outdoors when you’re camping is a truly exhilarating experience. Rolling out of your tent into the cool morning air under a chorus of birds and the sun streaming through the trees around you can make a guy forget even the most monumental of problems.

Waking up outdoors in your driveway generally entails a far less relaxing scenario. Trying to get your body, atrophied from the dampness, moving while the ol’ lady yells at you from the porch and the sun burns the blood-shot retinas out of your eye sockets, is anything but relaxing.

I’d picked up a recipe for field mouse shish-ka-bob from a hillbilly at the bar the night before and my drunken ass decided to go hunting as soon as I got home.

I took a piece of drywall and smeared peanut butter in the center then covered it with ketchup, mustard, open pit, spaghetti sauce, and a few other things out of the fridge and placed it on the ground.

I then grabbed my blowgun, some three inch darts, and an additional 12-pack and set up camp between the barn and the corn crib.

The bright white drywall made a perfect background for the brown mice that ventured across it.

It only took an hour or so before I’d bagged three of the bastards, but I wanted ten so I was still waiting when I finally passed out.

A long, hot shower removed some of the creaks from my skeleton, but when you have as many war wounds as I do, the dampness can really play havoc on your existence.

A couple hits of Vicodin backed up with a triple-shot of Rebel Yell whiskey would be necessary to jump-start me this time.

I rolled into the Tweeter Center just after one o’clock, feeling very little pain and ready to rock.

I was broadcasting live from the event for 94.7/The Zone, but was forced to do so from a small room backstage next to Nevermore’s dressing room, due to a few incidents at the Ozzfest broadcast involving “alleged” nudity, landed me in the Clear Channel dog house.

The first order of business was to attack the cooler and crack open my first beverage. It felt good to be back in the mix of the hustle and bustle of the backstage world, as it’s been a few years since I’ve been out on the road.

The broadcast was tame compared to most live remotes, but I slammed through it and escaped just as Fear Factory was taking the stage. I got to see great sets from them, as well as Life of Agony and Megadeth, so I went home happy.

Saturday started with a road trip up to Waukesha, Wisconsin for an antique car show/swap meet. I’ve been looking for a pre-50’s beater pick-up truck for a project and I heard this was a good place to look. (Got one? E-mail me at Freak@947Zone.com)

While getting a few leads, I basically struck out so I was kinda grumpy as I made my way back to the Tweeter Center for round two.

It would be an easy day for me, as I had no official duties to perform at the show. All the interviews, intros, and whatnot were assigned to Sludge and Brian, leaving me plenty of opportunities to get into trouble.

The Chevelle guys handed me a plastic cup filled with Petron and that, mixed with the all the beer I’d already ingested, put me in a real good mood.

By the time Chevelle hit the stage, the “National Oh Shit He’s Drunk Again Service” had already issued a “Drunken Freak” warning to the backstage area, but it was too late. I’d already wandered on stage during “The Red” and taken it upon myself to sing backing vocals.

Since the band uses all in-ear technology, I couldn’t hear a thing, so my timing was off and seeing as I can’t really sing, my pitch was nowhere near the mark.

To make matters worse, the band was blindsided by my harsh screaming directly into their ears. I’m amazed Sam and Pete didn’t jump out of their skins.

I was quickly ushered out of the backstage area and tossed out into the pavilion where my friends were eagerly waiting to tell me how bad I sounded while handing me another beer.

We roamed out to the lawn for Velvet Revolver but I was unconscious by the second song which, in hindsight, was probably for the best.

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