AQUARIUS  

(Jan. 20 - Feb. 18)

      Everything you touch turns to gold this month. Don’t be fooled. What might look like gold from the outside usually smells like a donkey fart on the inside and vise versa. It’s the one you never expect. The diamond that’s in the rough demands your mighty touch.

 PISCES

 (Feb. 19 - March 20)

       You’re like a fish out of water flopping around gasping for air. What’s wrong with you? Stay calm and cool. Take a breath. You need to focus on home life. Family relationships need some TLC. No one is pulling you on the spot. Calmly state your case. I’m sure two way compromising will resolve any minor scuffles.

ARIES

 (March 21 - April 19)

      Don’t let your emotions get the best of you. Most of the time you have good intentions but sometimes your emotional side takes over and you could end up hurting the ones who care the most about you. Watch what you say chief.

TAURUS 

 (April 20 - May 20) 

     Don’t be so pushy with people and think before you speak. You don’t want to come off as a mental case. Making a big deal out of nothing could cause bigger problems than you could imagine. Just lie low for awhile. Focus on the bigger picture.

GEMINI

 (May 21 - June 20)

      You are on the right rack. Don’t be discouraged by friends’ negative opinions. Following your dreams is never easy. Actually it’s scary. You will be successful if you believe in yourself. You can do anything that you put your mind too. Money will start rolling in shortly and life will soon again be peachy (and we know how you like peaches).

 CANCER

 (June 21 - July 22)

     Don’t give up something of value for that 5 minute temporary fix (you know what I mean baby). Do to others as you want done to you. One minor mistake could leave you stranded with rosey palm for the next few months. Think about it baby.

LEO

 (July 23 - Aug 22) 

     This is your month to shine. You will inspire and be inspired. Everyone is looking to you for the answers and you have all the right ones. A job opportunity is coming your way. Weigh all options before making a final decision.

VIRGO

 (Aug 23 - Sept 22)

      You try to look smooth as silk but guess what the pavement is getting rough. Your shallow self-centered ways is fixing to bite you in the ass. Take this as a lesson learned. You can’t treat people like objects. You are a very loyal unselfish person when you want to be. Try calling on that side of yourself. Dr Jeckle and Mr. hyde.

LIBRA 

 (Sept 23 - Oct 22)

      Your newfound independence opens quite a few new doors to cash (and don’t forget that cash makes the cochey go “woo woo”). You are the leader, others will follow. Don’t be fooled by the new crowd. Some newcomers are leeches who out to get what they can for free. No way baby! You play by your own rules. Ya have to put your foot down sometime.

SCORPIO

(Oct 23 - Nov 21)

       This is the time to be patient. Don’t push issues. all will come together as long as you keep your cool. Love is all around. You can take your pick, but don’t.  Like I said before, be patient and Mr or Miss Right will approach you in a way you have never been approached before. There is lots of hot sex in your future.  Lot’s of late night booty calls from a new “someone.” Yo, baby!  

 SAGITTARIUS

(Nov 22 - Dec 21) 

     That problem you have been dwelling on will turn out to be a laughing matter (no harm, no foul). Don’t fear the reaper. Let loose, go adventuring. Explore the unknown and love it. Your confidence is rubbing off on everyone around you. Give ‘em something to talk about. Make ‘em jealous.

CAPRICORN

 (Dec 22 - Jan 19)

      Don’t bite off more than you can chew Casanova.  Define what it is that you want. Without clear guidelines there could be a glitch in the switch baby. Wires could get crossed. No need to burn yourself or anyone else for that matter.

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